Britney,

It's good to see you splitting up from Kevin, your husband of two years. Divorce is always sad when there are kids involved, but now we won't be subject to pictures of you looking like you wore your housecoat to a sale at K-Mart.



You may not have the vocal chops of Christina Aguilera, but now you'll be free to get back to shocking us. What kind of world is it where Madonna has to resort to adopting a Malawian baby to get our attention? So, now that you're single and back in shape, please shock us. Go back to wearing snakes, kissing Madonna, whatever. With the Democrats back on top in Congress, this country could use a little anxiety-free titillation without a family value in sight. I just wish I liked your music better....